I don’t consider myself wiser than the next person, but I have been on the earth 66 years, a follower of Jesus for about 50 of those, and married almost 40. So I have a few things I have learned along the way.
The Holy Spirit Filter
This goes way back to my college days. I had been well-trained from my youth in the art of sarcasm and the snappy comeback. My three roommates and I would often spend our dinner hours exchanging witticisms and little harmless put-downs.
There eventually came a time, though, when we, all Christians, realized that snarkiness and cut-downs did reflect the heart of Jesus very well. We decided together to cultivate speech that was uplifting and encouraging.
So it would happen every so often that I would say (to them or someone else) something insulting or sarcastic, and they wouldn’t quite hear it — and say, “What?” And in that moment, I would realize that I shouldn’t have said it anyway. It was as if the Holy Spirit had a filter, and intercepted my unwholesome words in the air between my lips and their ears, and I was given a second chance. And I would say, “Never mind. Holy Spirit Filter.”
And over time, as I (and my roomies) matured in this area, an unusual thing happened: The Holy Spirit moved from the air between us, into my mouth. I would think of the next snarky comment, but stop in mid-sentence. And then I would say again, “Holy Spirit Filter.” My friends knew what had just happened and smile because they realized I had stuck an unkind statement in my pocket instead of spewing it out.
More time passed, and I’m happy to say that the Holy Spirit Filter moved even farther — to just before my mouth (I would think about it but not even start to say it), then into my brain. Even thinking of sarcasm or put-downs became rarer and rarer.
Now, 45 years later, I wish I could say that I have totally tamed my tongue. Of course, that would be a lie (James 3 says “No one can tame the tongue”). But by God’s grace I am known as someone whose words are more likely to build up than tear down.
Has the Holy Spirit Filter been active in your life?
The Imago Dei
Back in college I (along with many of my friends), read J.I. Packer’s classic, “Knowing God.”
The part of that book that most stood out to me was where he talked about how every human being is a bearer of the image of God – the Imago Dei. (Interestingly, even though the Bible tells us we have it, it’s not real clear exactly what that means.)
What this means, he went on to say, is that to get a glimpse of God, we need not look to nature — a beautiful mountain vista or stunning ocean sunset. Looking into the eyes of a fellow human being — even the most disheveled, down-and-out, messed-up human you can find — is more an experience of seeing God than any of those other things.
A practical implication of this is this:
To disrespect a fellow human being is to disrespect God.
So one of my guiding principles is not only to avoid disrespecting people, but to show extra honor to those who tend to be disrespected. In our culture there are many of these: Clerks, restaurant servers, custodians, and almost anyone doing a service-type job.
Many people see service people as existing only to meet their needs. Bring my food, empty my wastebasket, and so on. They honestly don’t even acknowledge that person as a person, much less as someone carrying the image of God and thus having infinite worth. This is just wrong, especially for Jesus followers, who ought to know better.
So at the restaurant, I honor my server by smiling at them and conversing with them, using their name, if they have a name tag, asking for their name if they don’t. Sometimes I say, “We’re about to say grace. Is there one thing personally we could pray for you about?” This shows personal concern for them and can lead to a spiritual conversation.
At a theme park or other public place, when I see someone sweeping or emptying trash cans, I thank them for working hard to keep the place clean and make our day pleasant.
At the airport, I say to the TSA agents, “Thank you for serving us today,” or if it’s one of those oh-dark-thirty flights, “Thank you for getting up early to serve us today.”
A said that to a fast-food girl at the airport, and she said, “That’s the nicest thing anyone’s ever said to me.”
It costs me nothing except a few seconds of my time to greet someone, look them in the eye, and thank them. And yet these words of kindness can be infinitely valuable to that person — especially a person who is often ignored or dishonored by others.
Give it a try!
Dan & Pat Lee 